Piazza del Popolo sits at one end of Via del Corso in Rome. It’s in the heart of the city, a short walk from all major tourist attractions, and heavily trafficked by pedestrians. A marble archway stands opposite the Corso, acting as a gate in the old city walls, making Piazza del Popolo the first view of Rome that an ancient traveler would have had as they entered the eternal city.
Just above the piazza sits Villa Borghese, an extensive garden with history stretching back through the renaissance era into Roman antiquity. From a terraced view in the garden, you can appreciate the gravity of the Egyptian Obelisk brought to Rome before the time of Christ that now marks the center of the piazza and acts as a navigational landmark for anyone on the broad, straight streets that emanate from it.
I had been in Italy for almost two years, and had only a few months left before I’d be going home. When Mormons leave home to preach we call them missionaries, and a group of us had decided to sing Christmas carols in the piazza with some of the local members as a way to garner interest.
When I met Selena it felt electric. Bright eyed and beautiful, she had only arrived for her mission weeks earlier. We locked eyes from across the piazza and I felt an immediate pull.
She was raised near Boston, but was already fluent in Italian language and culture because her parents were Italian immigrants. She’d been born in Catania, a city on the southern-most big island in Italy. As she talked about herself my interest grew. She told me about her family, about playing rugby, and what she had been studying in school. At the time, I had a mental list of things I wanted in a spouse, and she seemed to check off most of the boxes. I was captivated.
As I see it now, Mormons habitually marry too fast and too early in life, largely due to pressure from the culture and leadership. For some, hastily playing out the romanticized script of entering a marriage ordained by God himself works. Most should consider getting more experience with dating before jumping in. But nearing the end of my mission, I was faithfully looking to see how I could carry out the next steps along the righteous path. What else is there if not finding a wife?
I had several candidates. Some I had known from high school, others from college. All were wonderful, intelligent, devoutly Mormon people who fit the role I wanted them to play nicely. If you’ve had much relationship experience you know this attitude is naïve and unhealthy, but it seemed perfectly logical to me at the time. Who doesn’t want a partner that matches up with their long list of very specific criteria? Selena wound up among these women in my ruminations over who I’d like to marry. The deep attachment to Italian culture that I had acquired heavily influenced those ruminations.
A short time later I left Rome to spend my final month in Bari. Selena had told me about her aunt and uncle who lived there, and a week before heading home to the states I visited them.
They never had children, so Selena and her siblings became the subject of all the adoration they had to give. I listened as “Zia” gave me a full narration of Selena’s life, accompanied by photos that chronicled every major event. A profound spiritual impression convinced me that I needed to maintain contact with Selena and get to know her more. Though I couldn’t be sure of it, I told the other missionary who’d been with me that night that I believed I would marry her.
Two years later time proved me right. The memory of that spiritual impression would often give me reassurance in moments of conflict, frustration, or boredom within our relationship. It was strong enough that I continued to rely on it’s memory even after Robert killed God. In a very real sense I felt I had been led to her, and was willing to do everything needed to make our marriage work.
I was shocked when she left.
Forgiveness is challenging, but universally expected of Christians.
In the Christ story, Jesus is a perfect being who does many miracles and teaches many people. The following he attracts unnerves the political and religious establishments of His time, who eventually apprehend and unjustly kill him using Roman crucifixion, a brutal and torturous execution method. Many of his closest followers would go on to preach his gospel across the Mediterranean countries, even reaching Rome, where Peter, upon whom Christ Himself had conferred the mantle of authority, was crucified for the Christian cause. The Vatican complex and seat of the Catholic church sits on the site where Peter is believed to have been martyred. The sign of the cross is now a globally recognized symbol of Christianity.
Mormons do not accept the cross. The cross is a sign of death, which misses the point, because after three days in a tomb, Jesus rises from the dead. Mormon doctrine holds that this is the moment in which Christ’s purpose is complete, so instead of the cross, Mormons focus much of their symbolism on the resurrected Christ.
During the series of events collectively referred to as the atonement, Mormons hold that Jesus literally took upon Himself all punishment for the sins of mankind, and experienced all physical and emotional suffering from the beginning of time to the end, culminating in the most painful death humanly possible. But despite all this, as a divine figure, He overcame it and offers forgiveness to all, even the perpetrators responsible.
As the arbiter of cosmic justice, Jesus, who is now the Christ, commands that we forgive everyone, including ourselves. We are to leave the task of dispensing justice to Him. This means more than simply moving on from those who’ve hurt us, but processing our pain and anger as Jesus did so that we can see and accept others with love as He does.
This might sound trivial for petty injury. But it’s a monumental feat when we speak of the truly agitating emotions caused by conflict, betrayal, abuse, violence, and other atrocities that humans engage in. Nonetheless, we are commanded to forgive. Is such a task even possible?
Recognizing the difficulty of this ask, the resurrected and divine Christ extends the power acquired through his atonement to all. Forgiveness and acceptance may be difficult, but through the support of Christ all things are possible. The word atonement is itself a uniquely insightful invented English word. It is “at-one-ment”, or the process through which Christ and all others may become one with God.