Everything is a circle, and every circle is a spiral that gets bigger. Every spiral has an origin, and every origin pulls the spiral up, toward order, or down, toward chaos. You are the origin of your own spiral. What direction are you pulling it? And why aren't you pulling faster? Find your Swedish doors and collect them, it's the only way to wake yourself up and pull to your full potential.
The fastest way to go up is first to go down, and the fastest way to go down is through the building up of faith unto the complete removal of fear, which includes the humble acceptance of pain. There are no shortcuts.
Complete and total self-acceptance brings extreme clarity and turns you into a powerful origin capable of pulling a massive upward spiral. This is why the entirety of the universe is contained within your subconscious mind, but only if you can learn to rewire it correctly.
The fastest way to go up and get what you want is to help others get what they want. The fastest way to help another person get what they want is to help them discover what it is they want, because chances are they don’t actually know yet. To do that, you must love them until they learn to love themselves. Rewire your brain to love others by default, your spiral will expand, and the things you want in life will come to you.
I’m dead serious, this is a purely logical explanation based on human behavioral dynamics. It’s not any mystical or spiritual ayahuasca shit, I first tried to explain it using a robotics analogy. I’m trying to tell you how everything worth doing was done, ever.
If you think this all sounds too cheesy, you’re missing the point, and you’re probably a man, because the women already know. This is what they have been trying to tell the dense male population for centuries. Love is powerful. Intelligence can be extraordinarily useful but it’s limited to the level of your ego. Wisdom diminishes your ego so that you can love more freely, which opens you up to exponential possibilities that have no bounds.
What is wisdom? Wisdom is full and unconditional love for self, guided by a certainty that the best way to love yourself is to love other people, always. When you love yourself completely, you begin to see that the disasters in the lives of other people are usually self-inflicted, as much as they wish to blame outside forces. They just need someone to love them. If you’re the one to do it, they will return in kind.
On a side note, the reason narcissists are so difficult to spot is because they understand the reciprocal mechanics of love, see the power contained within them, and have copied those mechanics. But they do them out of fear, not love, and it sucks their victims dry.
All that said, what does it actually mean to love someone? Is it giving them everything they ask for? Dropping everything at your hands to run to their side whenever they ask for help? Clearing the way before them to make it as easy as possible?
I’ve done that before, and I thought it was love at the time. I’m not so sure anymore.
They say that if you aren’t willing to hurt a person you don’t actually love them. I’ve had more than one set of friends whose marriages nearly fell apart, and were only repaired after one partner left in order to give their spouse a wake-up call. My own parents would’ve gotten divorced when I was very young if my father hadn’t sat my mother down to confront her over the unsustainable nature of her work habits.
Thinking back on my own excruciating divorce, it was easy to recognize that fear of loss had created the reticence that prevented us from confronting the truth earlier. Even if we had been a good match for each other, that fear of loss severely limited the vulnerability and intimacy we could have shared, and certainly did while we were together. But we were only afraid of losing each other because we did not know how to honor our own intuition. We hadn’t yet learned to love or trust ourselves. When she finally left, it was the most loving act she’d ever shown me.
You and I have been discussing Swedish doors. It’s easy to understand why the fear of losing your partner will kill any relationship when you’re a bystander. Inside the dynamic it’s a different story. Something is blocked, the door won’t open, and you can’t tell what it is. You’re blind. People don’t learn the hard lessons until they’ve been through enough pain that the fear hampering their progress can no longer be avoided. Often we don’t learn, jumping instead from one painful situation to the next, hoping to eventually find someone who triggers an acceptably low number of our insecurities that we feel we can at least survive with them. By refusing to look in the mirror, the realization that we ourselves are the person carrying those problems around never sets in.
Would it not be more loving to hold up the mirror? Rather than academically describing the chaotic dynamics you see, would it not be better to give someone the experience they need so they can learn to love themselves?
That is a hard question. Depending on how you answer it, you might have to become the villain in the eyes of someone you truly love. Loving them might entail responsibly giving them pain.
We haven’t discussed it, but you’ll have understood by now that moving through a Swedish door is usually a painful experience. This is because doing so means overcoming fear, and fear exists for a reason. We’re afraid of the pain that’s underneath.
Yes, it takes unbearable pain moving upon us to finally find the courage needed to confront fear, but this is just the beginning of the emotional rollercoaster.
First you’ll be angry. You’ll be angry and you won’t know where to direct the anger, except toward whatever trigger unleashed it immediately beforehand. This is why divorce is often such a scarring event. All the contributing factors are usually ignored, and the emotion is pushed onto the former spouse instead.