Every good writer would like to tell you something, so every good story has message. But writers rarely say the main point out loud. Instead they’ll give you puzzle pieces, and the tricky bit is figuring out the writer’s puzzle. Perhaps presenting puzzle pieces and hoping the reader can string them together is asking too much. But may I ask, had the writer been able to solve the puzzle for you in a way that you’d remember and act on the message, would they not have done so instead of writing a story? Maybe asking the reader to solve a puzzle is a more effective way to deliver the message.
You may wonder what hubris a man must have to believe his message is valuable enough to be worth asking his reader to solve a puzzle in order to get it. To your credit, many have accused me of extreme hubris, and most of the time they have been correct. However, if I may counter the question, I should like to ask what desperation pushes a man to stop, secure some silence, and write? Especially one who has never seriously written before and has many more lucrative activities immediately before him? What makes him choose to renounce the pursuit of wealth and satisfaction in favor of crafting a story that will quite possibly never be read? Surely he must be insane.
But, if the writers are mad, why do you read their stories?
It seems that stories are a good way to share a message, and do so in a way that a listener will want to hear. But what it is the difference between a story and a puzzle? A story makes you feel good and it has a happy ending. A puzzle tells a story and then asks you to answer a few questions. If all you want is a happy ending, do not read my story. I can only give you questions, but inside some of them there are answers.
On reading the first finished drafts a friend of mine wondered what audience I am speaking to. Though this story is my own, it wasn’t written for me. It was written for the people I would like to be closer to, and for the benefit of those who feel the same. But I would like to put my friend’s question to rest, because above all this story was written for you, and no one else. Yes, you the reader. I am going to give you an intimate view of many events that have defined my journey, in hopes that they may help you on your own.
The events themselves are not presented in exact chronological order. Too many happened concurrently in ways that intertwine one with another for that to be a coherent format. They are instead organized around the lessons that those events taught me. As you read, you’ll begin to pull together a picture of how they unfolded and who I became as a result.
Who did I become? Well, I won't say I’m the happiest person in the world. I'm certainly not the richest. I'm not particularly famous. But I do think I have one thing many people search for and few of us find, and that is peace.
There are people in my life who will be deeply wounded if they read this book. If you have been close to me at any point, I would compassionately suggest that you prepare to be one of those people. I promise I harbor no ill will toward you.
The names in this book have been changed to protect both the innocent and the guilty. Judgement of who is innocent and who is guilty is God’s and God’s alone. The people described know who they are, and I ask that you leave unto them their dignity. If you wish to cast criticism, cast it on me. Afterward, if you would, allow God to be both my judge and jury.
I ask this of you because some who read this book will no doubt call me a menace to society. Still others will call me a sage. I have learned that I cannot control the perception that someone else will bring to my story, but if you do find offense, none was intended. I sincerely apologize for whatever imperfection in my delivery caused the offense, and beg the patience and understanding of all who are willing to give it.
Because this story is spiritual in nature, I suspect as you read it you will begin to wonder what exactly I believe now. I submit that what I believe is a trivial matter. What is of immediate and critical importance is only examining what you believe yourself. You may wish to take from what I have shared or disregard it entirely, and the choice is completely and fully your own. But as you read, if I may humbly suggest, there is one question you may want to consider asking. Discovering the answer to it should supersede all other pursuits. That question is, simply, “who is God?”